Balen in training

If Balen is to someday challenge my position as Alpha Male, he must first master the tools of combat. The first battlefield lies in the world of gaming. Today we start with console gaming and the Xbox 360.

First I must introduce Balen to the Xbox 360 controller. He must appreciate the form, size, and weight:


Here I instruct Balen on proper hand position and technique: Where are the dead zones? What fingers are best used for what buttons?:


It's an immediate success! Michel is already rolling her eyes and sighing heavily. Balen has successfully triggered the Exasperated Mother mentality necessary to the healthy struggle of any young gamer. The sheer beauty is staggering... Yet his technique is flawed. I sense some measure of fatherly aid in achieving this goal. Balen must be able to move with such speed and dexterity unaided. We must practice.

Next Lesson: pressing the buttons.