Time for the snip-snip

Okay, out with it: this Friday I will be getting a vasectomy. Michel and I were talking about it when we made Balen, since we keep "accidentally" producing kids. 2 is enough for us with our current configuration, and since Balen came out alright (so far), we're done with reproduction. So on Friday at 2:15pm EST, I will be removing my genes from any future human gene re-enactments. We know it's permanent. We also think it's much easier than a tubal ligation, since that's a bit more invasive. Also, this is covered with our insurance.

So why a vasectomy? Well, the pill can basically be another form of abortion, if you really look into it. The pill is supposed to prevent fertilization of an egg but also prevents the egg from implanting if it does fertilize (which is the point at which we believe it becomes life and if we're wrong, why take the chance?) it usually just prevents the embryo from attaching and getting the food it needs, so we've been using condoms for years. It's a problematic method with us for 3 reasons: 1. it's expensive 2. it changes the nature of sex no matter what the ads say 3. we don't always use them because of 1 and 2 (a lack of discipline, we know, but there it is). So this way, my ammo will be reabsorbed by my body and not fired out the barrel (to use a more elegant form of the "shooting blanks" metaphor). Which, apparently, is what happens to the unused stock as it is.

More details, you ask? Why sure... They'll snip and cauterize both of my vas deferens, which are the tubes that carry the sperm from the sperm refinery (sounds better than factory, don't you think?) to the shipping and receiving department. Therefore it won't have a chance to get to... well... anywhere at all. Since I'll have sperm already enroute, I'll have to... undergo... 25-30 ejaculations to completely remove the product from the supply chain. This is a good thing. I plan on completing that step of the process in a matter of days. I'm sure Michel is completely on board with this... really... absotively posilutely... Once I have a sufficient number of notches on my belt, I'll go back to the doc and get a sperm count to confirm that there aren't any black-market smuggling operations in place of a legitimate logistics trail.

The best part, is I go there, drive home after no more than an hour, and sit on my butt for the weekend with some comfortable under-drawers (they actually recommend a cup) and a couple bags of frozen peas as a sudden set of best friends. We've replaced ourselves in the world population without increasing the drain on the planet; we've done so with a pair of kids that can qualify in the "brain-busting eye-candy" category; and we've done so early enough that we think we might actually have a marriage in the not-so-distant future in which we can enjoy a house without the CLUMP-THUMP of little feet. Don't get me wrong, we enjoy these two more than anything on the planet, but we've also not had that part of a normal get-married-wait-a-few-years-then-have-kids kind of marriage. Well, we haven't really had much of a normal marriage no matter how you look at, with separation and making it past the average life of a marriage before divorce (last I heard it was something like 7 years). We're in our tenth as of Feb 18th.

So that's the biggest issue with us. Next is a possibility of getting out of here before the fall semester if Michel can work out a deal with the school to do all her research credits before the end of the summer. That would be VERY nice. We're quite tired of this place (more because of the house than anything). So enough of this private-parts discussion, and enough overusage of metaphors...